By Tony Taylor
ItsQwere, Executive Director
August 2024

““Arrive early and eat as much as you can before the lines get too long,” I half-joked. It’s true.”

Our besties at GrandStand Media gifted ItsQwere a media pass for San Francisco’s annual Outside Lands Music Festival in Golden Gate Park and, after last year's fashion recap and 2019’s Grasslands feature story, I wanted to find a fresh take to immortalize the festival known locally as “OSL”.

*Victoria Monét serenades the crowd during a foggy evening set. (Photo courtesy of Outside Lands)*

What I thought would be a cute foodie round-up turned into a hungering reality check, but let’s start with a few music moments that left no crumbs.

The Entrée
Victoria Monét. The three-time Grammy winning showstopper that you are. A pop star trained in the school of the Jacksons and the Knowleses, Mommy Monét didn’t miss a beat. Encouraging the crowd to light their blunts, our Sacramento-raised bisexual princess brought the heat to a misty, foggy 7 p.m. set on the Twin Peaks stage. With so few LGBTQ artists featured on any of the festival's three main stages (we see you, Kaytranada), it was a proud moment for us rainbow Jaguar fans.

*Grace Jones hula-hooping during her Saturday main stage set. (Photo courtesy of Outside Lands)*

Fine Wine
I’d be remiss to not mention the Saturday evening performance from Grace Jones on the Lands End stage. Her iconic hits were mostly lost on the Gen Z crowd who loosened up near the 50-minute set’s end. “I freaking love her,” a 20-something exclaimed as the 76-year-old legendary queen hula-hooped on stage wearing a black leotard and fishnets while singing “Slave to the Rhythm”.

*An areal view of Chappell’s pink pony crowd. (Photo courtesy of Outside Lands)*

Dessert
Day three of the festival belonged to the Pink Pony Club. The Polo Field swarmed with thousands of pink cowboy hats worn by fans bitten by the Chappell Roan bug. Harmless, campy fun, reminiscent of Beyonce’s glittering Renaissance World Tour, Margot’s magenta Barbie summer, and 1993’s Macarena dance craze.

At the risk of sounding like the geriatric millennial that I am, I miss trite festival fringe and the flower crown aesthetic I once rolled my eyes about. Maybe in general, I’m nostalgic for an OSL era gone by. Like, when did I lose the knack for smuggling in booze?

Now the food. I set out to write about how delicious it was, determined to eat as much of it as I could throughout the weekend.

Birria grilled cheese from El Garage, brisket drunken noodles from Jo’s Modern Thai, anything from Rocco’s Ice Cream Tacos, the fried chicken sandwich from Sorrel… all banging! I could go on. But what I realized by my second glass of precisely measured zinfandel from Limerick Lane Cellars, hunger fiercely settling in, was that for as many food options available, they can be hard to access.

“Arrive early and eat as much as you can before the lines get too long,” I half-joked with other festival friends leading up to OSL weekend. It’s true.

*Destination experiences inside of Outside Lands include Cocktail Magic, Wine Lands, Beer Lands, and Grass Lands.* *(Photo: Tony Taylor)*

For every one food booth there seems to be two others serving beer, booze, and wine. Thank you occasional churro stand, but what would it take to get a few dozen craft corn dog carts and sponsored pizza pop-ups throughout the festival grounds? Maybe this cuts into the image (read: profits) of the exclusive cuisine offerings, but by 5 p.m., bitches were hungry, buzzed, and missing out on their Tastes of the Bay favorites because the lines were impossibly long.

OSL, baby girl, they can never make me hate you. For next year, please consider more food trucks… preferably without them being an exclusive perk of an additional paid package.

And of course, in true hangry fashion, once I finally got food and found a place to enjoy it, I was a happy heaux again. On to the next act!

Catch the next Outside Lands Music Festival on August 8 - 10, 2025. Visit sfoutsidelands.com for details.

WINES, LINES, AND FOOD QUESTS at SF’S BEST FEST